Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
