You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
