# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
