All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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