Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
