If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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