Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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