So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
