So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize