Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
