you didnt know i had herpes?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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