these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
