I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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