I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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