i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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