Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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