What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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