My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
