I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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