PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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