She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
