I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
