I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
even my farts smell like vagina
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
