I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize