you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
