he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
