Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
