I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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