she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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