Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
