Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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