It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
