buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm always down for nudity.
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