ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
