she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
