it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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