I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
