There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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