Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm sobbing to NWA
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize