Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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