i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
How naked do you want me to be?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
