dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
