Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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