worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize