I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
