His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
