Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
