you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I would ride that face into the sunset
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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