Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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