Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
