I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
