just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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