I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
