I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
