Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
