Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Semen is not good for contacts.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
