oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
this just has baby written all over it
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
