I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize