if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
