Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
