Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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