A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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