Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
